the end and the beginning

The beginning of something is obviously not the entirety of its existence. Where would the end fall if that were the case? But using just those two words, beginning and end, is too narrow a scope. Because nothing is ever truly over just like nothing has ever truly begun. (Okay, maybe the universe. But that's it.)

Each breath is possible because of the previous breath. Each death ends up being the organic matter for new life. The end of one song on a playlist is the lead into the next. Beginnings and endings mean very little. Influences weave themselves into every new beginning and ultimately are what lead to the pursuit of a new end. 

With releasing a book, I've been thinking a lot about this. About how, by the time my book was made public for people to consume, I was so over it. It felt stale to me. I felt like I was beyond what I had said in it. I thought that phase, the phase I described in the book, was done and that I was onto something new.

There was trepidation tied to it being released. I almost didn't even publish it because I was so focused on the next thing. The new beginning. The idea as opposed to the physical pages before me.

But I realized that if that is how I would chose to view creativity, I'd never end up creating anything I would be able to put out in the world. Because what once was the focal point of my creativity inevitably will wash away in time to be replaced by the next thing. 

There is no end when it comes to creativity, and there is no beginning. The end of one phase or focus is what leads to the birth of the new phase or focus. And to disregard an ending is unfair to the new beginning. It is good to grow and evolve and become. But it is irresponsible to neglect where we have grown from to just focus on where we're going.

Doing so puts too much pressure on us to always move and never reflect. Action and contemplation must walk side by side. 

So if you're stuck wondering about the next thing, what is the thing that you are moving to the next from? What is the current? What is so tied to you that it almost feels stale? Whatever that is, it's probably a more improved version of what that was three years ago. Which makes it worth sharing. Which makes it worth publishing or painting or singing. 

Life is a series of steps. Not an end and a beginning. There are moments in-between way too nuanced to be labeled by such simple categories.